Delayed or retarded ejaculation is a rare male problem; the far more common issue is premature ejaculation, where men ejaculate too soon. According to sexual health physician and medical sex therapist Dr Vijaysarathi Ramanthan, ‘A delayed ejaculation is when a person has a normal erection but cannot get to a ‘point of inevitability’ (i.e. he cannot not stop ejaculation happening). Long-time masturbators would have developed different points of climax and different source of stimuli (e.g. viewing images on the internet of a girl in a micro bikini on a beach). If this is the case, then it is hard to get that point of climax with sexual intercourse with a real person.’
Scientists have found various different causes for the problem – psychological and physiological. Sometimes it’s caused due to various ailments like hypogonadism (decreased functioning of sexual organs), thyroid-related problems or due to prostate surgery. It’s also common among substance abusers like alcoholics and drug users. Some medications like medicine for hypertension and drugs for psychosis can cause this problem too.
Some additional factors which can cause delayed ejaculation include psychological reasons, insufficient sleep, distraction during sex, stress, anxiety, guilt and relationship issues.
Another common reason is frequent masturbation. Sexual arousal is dependent on many things, particularly how the brain reacts to situations. Sexual intercourse and artificial stimulation due to masturbation are very different, particularly the grip and pressure and getting used to masturbation can be bad for actual intercourse.
Now unless delayed ejaculation is being caused due to physiological reasons, there are two simple solutions. One solution is to stop masturbating for a while and see if the problem persists. Another solution is the following sex therapy.
First, the male partner has to masturbate in front of his partner. The next step involves the woman stimulating the male partner’s penis. The final step involves inserting the male partner’s penis into the vagina a little while before he is about to ejaculate.
In most cases, this simple procedure is known to solve the problem and in time he should be able to climax normally during sex. If this therapy doesn’t help, one should consult a sex therapist or expert.